Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
