similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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