she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
Randomize
