He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Based off of the soaking wet clothes/towels/rugs, Eiffel Tower statue and monkey in the bathtub, I'm going to assume drunk me took a bath.
Are you really alive right now?
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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