it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
where am i from again
All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Yeah, I probably scared him away when I drunkenly told him we'd have beautiful children
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
