I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I was not drunk enough for that final.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
Randomize
