I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
I don't mean to complain but you could have done a better job of keeping me alive last night
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
