90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future�
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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