idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
