1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
