i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You want to know how I feel? I feel like Cady Heron pushed me in front of a bus last night.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Randomize
