The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
