girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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