just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
The uberlube is also flammable
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
