Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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