Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I feel that my census will not be the first census submitted soaked in beer
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Randomize
