haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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