I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
NO FUCKING RANDOMS IN AN ALLEY
Randomize
