remember facepaint boy? turns out it stains. aaaand i have it all over my face and neck.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
It came up in court that I told the arresting officer my name was Thomas Jefferson, and I was born in 1776. I almost kept a straight face. Almost.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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