So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Its the least I can do really, I mean, I did sleep with her husband...
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
