Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
God. I look like such a fucking stand up guy wearing polo shirts. You would totally trust me not to date rape you.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
