I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
