he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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