the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
I feel like my cat and I are playing mind games. I need more friends.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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