ugly people sure do ruin things
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What's the mantra for Sunday?
I will not have sex with him.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
