Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
She just used a chaser for red wine.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Randomize
