My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Next time you decide to post pictures of yourself in your underwear on facebook, please don't tag me as your bulge.. My mom spent 10 minutes looking for me in that picture. I had to tell her I was hiding.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
