great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
Randomize
