I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
