oh god the rape fog is back!
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
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