Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
