so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
Girl I'm contemplating picking up some adult diapers. That's how bad this is and it's only day 2.
Randomize
