no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
I'm wandering around outside asking things if they are god
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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