is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
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