You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
