i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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