haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
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