I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
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