Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
So vagazzling was a success
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
