on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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