pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
you made out with another girl for some wings
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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