we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
