Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
We're too hungover to prance.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
Randomize
