Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
