My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
