Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
