dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
i just found an uncooked ramen noodle in my underwear
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
Randomize
