I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Hah no, But it might feel like water boarding to my soul
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
