Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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