she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
There is a positive side to a sinus infection. Exclusively cowgirl sex. I've convinced her I'd pass out if I had to do the work.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
They were swingers. Real swingers. Thought it was going to be awesome until some fat guy tried to put my dick in his mouth.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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