Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Until you wake up with a Hustler club stripper in the next room whose nipple you were coerced to lick at Snake & Jake's after breaking up a fight between an Indian and a Filipino, I don't wanna hear about your weird.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
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