The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
