I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
