I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
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