my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
Hippo gnu deer
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
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