we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
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