How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
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